2007 in Review

Tonight, we take a look at the past year, with speacial guest commentator Neil Hannon from The Divine Comedy. Take it away Neil!

Generation sex
Respects
The rights
Of girls
Who want to take their clothes off
As long as we can all watch that’s okay

MSP were warned of the large numbers of ‘extreme’ material youths in Scotland are accessing, while actor Chris Langham is jailed for possession of child porn. Controvesy in reality television show Big Brother as housemates are accused of bullying Shilpa Shetty.

And generation sex
Elects
The type
Of guys
You wouldn’t leave your kids with
And shouts off with their heads if they get laid

Nicolas Sarkozy is elected president of France, and divorces his wife months later. His rival in the elections, Segolene Royal, also split from her partner soon after her defeat. America gears up for elections in 2008 as the parties attempt to select a hopeful from a woefully inadequate list of candidates, while Britian, despite a change of Prime Minister, have an election cancelled as Labour fall behind in the opinion polls (Scotland is now in the hands of the Scottish National Party, who will attempt to cede from the Union as soon as they can find the majority required to do so). Australia select a new leader, Hong Kong may be able to do so by 2017, and Russia refuse to. Burma is unhappy as they can’t, while Pakistan is unhappy because they can. Hugo Chavez recives his first ever election defeat in a referenfum in Venuzuela, and a man who may be jailed for corruption is set to become the next leader of South Africa. Northern Ireland burys the hatchet.

Lovers watch their backs
As hacks
In macs
Take snaps
Through telephoto lenses
Chase Mercedes Benzes through the night
A mourning nation weeps
And wails
But keeps
The sales
Of evil tabloids healthy
The poor protect the wealthy in this world 

10 years after her death, the British tabloids, as well as the public in general for some reason, still haven’t got over the death of Princess Diana. An inquiry is launched in London, uncovering new evidence, while conspiracy theorists have a field day. And by conspiracy theorists I mean the press in general. A concert is held in Wembley Stadium, attracting more television viewers than Live Earth a week later, a concert to raise awareness for global warming.

Generation sex
Injects
The sperm
Of worms
Into the eggs of field mice
So you can look real nice for the boys

Breakthroughs in cloning and stem cell research cause controversy, as does DNA pioneer James Watson, as he announces that black people are less intelligent than white people. China plans to build the world’s largest gene bank, Nicaragua introduces a blanket ban on abortions, Mexico City legalises it, and British MPs are told that it’s safe for women to perform their own abortions at home.

And generation sex
Is me
And you
And we
Should really all know better

Here’s for a good 2008!